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25 April 2008

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amy

Please don't include me for the perfume (allergies), though I do love the idea. I have to offer this gem, because how often do I get to share it?

When my daughter was about 5 months old, she had mostly outgrown major spit ups but would occasionally (and never predictably) projectile vomit the milk she'd just consumed. So one lovely evening, my lovely husband was spotting me while I did something important, like read a magazine or something. Who knows. Anyway, there he was - simultaneously working from home on his laptop (balanced on one leg) and burping the tot after she had finished her bottle. And what do *you* think happened?

Yes. She projectile vomited some 5 ounces of breastmilk all over the keyboard of his work-issued laptop. But no, that is not when it smelled. It began smelling the next day (in spite of our efforts to clean it up and out right away) and the next day and the next day, every time he turned on the laptop for any length of time, because you can imagine what the heat of a laptop will do to spoiling, fermenting breastmilk.

Eventually, he told his boss that "the liquid that had spilled on the keyboard" had damaged the mother board, so he got to turn that one in for another one. Ah, good times.

Jenn

OK I don't wear perfume either (how dull eh?) but I have a good one. In high school we learned how to recycle garbage into paper. So being high schoolers we picked the nastiest garbage -- things that smelled like rotted chicken bones and orange peels. They were all paper -- but picked out of the cafeteria garbage. Well we couldn't stand the smell of it -- everyone was gaggin. One girl had a vial of Estee Lauder's Beautiful sample and poured the whole thing into the recycled goop. Rotted food mixed with Beautiful -- and lots of it? Worst. Smell. Ever.

Linda

When my husband and I moved into our first condo we had a cat. And we had a little cat door that went out onto the balcony so our cat could watch traffic - we thought. (we were young and naive).

Anyway, we noticed a strange smell in our living room one day and tried to figure out where it was coming from, but couldn't locate the smell so we kind of ignored it. The next day we woke up and it smelled like a garbage dump in our living room. We couldn't even breathe without our hands over our noses. We searched and searched and searched for something until finally I decided to call a carpet and upholstery service to come and steam clean everything. When the guy came, he moved our VERY heavy sectional couch and discovered a dead, rotting bird that our cat had brought in from outside. My husband said he almost vomitted with disgust and the cleaning guy was all 'ah, I've seen worse'.

JMH

I have 2 stories, so take your pick :

1. When I was about 7 or 8 years old, we had an Easter party at our house with an old fashioned Easter egg hunt for all of the kids.....with REAL, hard boiled Easter eggs. The weather was bad, so the egg hunt took place in our basement. One egg was hidden, but not found. About 6 weeks later, the smell of a rotten egg was VERY strong in the basement...but we still couldn't find it. Eventually, it was found, but by then our whole house reeked of that stinky, sulfer smell.

2. The other story is one I am sure many mothers can relate to! Has your child ever had Rotovirus? It is a form of a stomach flu, but the "bodily fluids" have a VERY distinct (and gross) smell. Well, my 3 year old, 6 month old AND my husband all had Rotovirus at the same time. All I did for 24 hours straight was clean up their Sh** and spray Lysol. My house smelled like a pig farm full of lemons. :)

lindsey

I don't wear perfume, Summer, but I do have to say that the worst smell ever is a GI bleed.

Only healthcare professionals or relatives of hospitalized folks will know this, but digested-blood poop is SO GROSS SMELLING.

Kathy B.

Two -- both rodent related. Came home from work one day and noted that the trash smelled REALLY bad - so I took the bag out to take to the dumpster, and discovered a dead mouse in the bottom of the can. Needless to say, the entire trash can went to the dumpster. My ex couldn't understand why I didn't dump it, wash the can and use it again! um, no freaking way!!!

The other happened to a friend of mine. She had an awful smell in her kitchen. She thought it was potato water that had boiled over so she kept turning on burners to "burn off' the offending substance. Turned out there was a dead rat in the walls of the stove. I'm not sure, but I think she got a new stove!

I really hate rodents!

Michelle

I have two stories.

When I younger we were playing hide and go seek in our church basement. My friend and I snuck into the janitors storage room. We knew we had the perfect hiding spot. Someone was coming into the room and I stepped back to get out of their view. Much to my horror my leg kept going down until I was almost doing the splits length-wise. Somehow the man-hole cover was left off the sewer tank and I was covered with cr*p! We washed it off the best we could..but on the way home I was up front near the heater. The stench was enough to gag a maggot! My nick-name became the Sewer Queen!

My second story is an ongoing one...I live on a cow and pig farm. The cattle yard is about 100 yards from my kitchen window. The hog building is further away but it doesn't matter. I have lived here for three years and the stench is constant. We hope to move this fall sometime...and it will not be farm related!

I am looking forward to hearing about your trip and seeing the new blog!
Michelle

Jenn C.

I was in a meeting with my boss and smelled a bad odor. I checked my shoes thinking I had stepped in some dog poop but they were clean. I discreetly checked the floor but that was clean too. I could not figure out where the horrible poop odor was coming from. I'm trying to pay attention to my boss but was very distracted. I glanced down at my hands and there encrusted in my engagement ring was poop. I had changed my 9 month old daughter that morning, washed my hands but apparently not my ring. The more I looked the more grossed out I became. The meeting FINALLY ended and I raced to the bathroom to try to scrub my ring. I never asked my boss if she smelled anything nor did she ever say.

SarcastiCarrie

College 1996 Christmas break. One of the three refrigerators in our 8-BR rental house went outthe first week. I came back two weeks later to corpse-scent (rotting chicken and turkey lunch meat, I believe). And had to live there another 3 to 5 days until the landlady could get a repairman and puchase a new unit. Corpse.

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